Here’s where we went wrong:
First, we wrongly believed sexual desire meant love.
This lie is postmodern orthodoxy today. But sexual desire isn’t love. It’s just an appetite. Many relationships have been built with appetite (falling in and out of attraction) as the foundation. Because of this “love is love” became the meaning and purpose of marriage. Wrong premise. Wrong conclusion. Marriage is for procreation. Disagree all you want. But think harder about this before you do.
Next, we wrongly believed appetite meant identity, that how we feel is what we are. Straight and gay are desires not identities. We talk about them as identities and create a giant ball of confusion. They are desires that describe attractions. But that doesn’t change what or who we are. We are supposed to examine our mutable desires and mutable attractions, adjust where necessary, and take our human identity into account to seek the purpose of our desires. If marriage is for procreation, gay marriage is illogical nonsense like the scent of the color square. You already see where this goes with the trans debate. That it is a debate tells you how badly our language has confused real categories of reality. Since you can’t criticize a real identity, they shoehorn the category of desire into the category of identity. Being black is an identity. Being gay or non-binary is not.
This is why I despise identity language like “I identify as.” This is so patently false but it’s part of postmodern cliches. We may “identify with” something but we just mean “I relate to.” Let’s scrap the word “identity” as a synonym if we wish to redeem this ever important concept.
So now that postmodernism has diluted the meaning of love and destroyed the concept of identity, we have people running around making up legislation and marketing in the name of love and identity where there is no love or identity at all. If our laws don’t follow the contours of reality, they are immoral and tyrannical.
Now you know how we got here and the false beliefs that plague our daily lives.